Steven Seagal fictional Lawman episode 2 – the cat in the tree

I know what you are thinking, if this episode is just a cat in a tree, why can’t they show it on TV?

They could do the little old lady, Steven going over and telling her it will be all alright, the officers laughing at whoever has to go up the tree, Steven walking behind other sheriffs looking concerned and occasionally shining the torch up the tree and maybe him even saying that the cat is very tense, and not Zen like.

But this isn’t a domesticated cat, this is an ESCAPED TIGER.

The episode starts with Steven and his crew pulling someone over for throwing an empty packet of cigarettes over the edge of a bridge.

Steven says, “hell no”, and jumps out of the car, picks the guy up by the throat, drags him and the car (he forgot to release the seat belt) to the edge of the bridge and tells the guy he has two choices, either Steven will throw him down, or he can get out of the car, go down and pick up the cigarette packet and all the rubbish, or he will become rubbish. The driver then runs down and does his job while Steven gives a brief 12-minute explanation about how important the environment is.

Then they get the call about the Tiger, when they arrive the other Sheriffs have already roped off a cordon around the tree, and the tiger’s handler is in the corner with a open wound to her face.

Steven gets out of the car and asks Eric, the young Sherriff who knows the streets, what the situation is.

“This lady is a tiger trainer, and the tiger jumped her, and is now in this tree”.
“Good job, Eric, I’ll take over from here.”

Steven takes off his belt and weapons, he then takes off his yellow glasses, and puts on his even yellower glasses.

He realises that by climbing up the main section of the tree he will be at the mercy of the tiger, so instead he gets one of the other sheriffs to pull up under a very strong branch.

This whole time the Tiger looks at him in an aggressive way, but it does not approach, but once he is on the branch (he got there with a back flip) he edges closer to the tiger and the tiger edges closer to him.

They engage after only 12 seconds of tension, but on the episode it takes 9 minutes and there is about 100 cut aways to people looking scared with an extremely dramatic tune playing in the background.

Eventually the tiger pounces, yet, as quick as a tiger can be, Steven is quicker and in a flash he is behind the tiger and has the tiger in a chokehold.

The tiger isn’t easy to choke though, it flings Steven back onto his ass, and he just manages to stay on the tree.

When he ha secured himself he looks back in the tigers direction to see the tiger in mid flight with its teeth resplendent in the sheriff’s torchlight coming straight for his throat. Steven then drops himself down at the last moment and the tiger bangs its head on the tree rendering it briefly unconscious.

Steven then picks up the tiger and jumps from the tree with it. It awakes in his arm, but all the hostility is gone and the time looks at Steven like he is a hero.

The lady trainer, still bleeding from the face, comes over to check on her tiger. She thanks Steven while they both play with the tiger and then Steven tells her the correct way to bring up a tiger.

The episode ends when a cat runs out in front of their patrol car and one of Steven’s fellow Sheriffs says, “I could take that one down”.

They all laugh.